small cypress

on middle schoolers

Note - I posted this as a series on Mastodon, where I had to watch my word count and it stunts my writing a bit

I really like teaching middle school. They're really annoying, and never stop talking, and sometimes a little smelly, but it's fun chaos.

You just have to forgive endlessly and take nothing personally and put your foot down. The big thing is just having unconditional positive regard for them because they are hormonal and miserable and most of them really are trying! And they know when you don't like them!

So many people who teach MS just quietly kind of hate them and they can tell

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You also have to TALK TO THEM, especially the ones who drive you crazy, who don't show up. The phrase "building relationships" gets thrown around by gaslighty admin in some schools to put the onus on teachers for everything, but it is the secret sauce to having fun teaching "hard" kids.

I talk to kids I don't teach this quarter all the time - about siblings, their sports team, their video games. I ask them what they're good at and what they care about. This is bare minimum stuff you have to do!

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And I am in Baltimore City. They're not just going to tell a new white teacher they don't have a relationship with about CPS coming to their house last night, or that they miss so much school in 5th grade to watch the baby, or that yeah it's on sight with so-and-so because they whisper to them in the halls about their dad being shot last year.

Part of being the adult in the situation is knowing that that kind of information is not owed to you! It's earned with trust!

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Lots of exclamation points but someone was shocked that I do so well with our hardest middle school group, and showing them that I like them is the ticket.

The other two are power and snacks - giving them responsibilities like being in charge of clean-up procedures or doing me a favor outside the classroom (they want to be trusted!) and I give them tickets for being locked in on art that they can trade for snacks makes the world go round

I'll write a blog eventually phew

I think the only thing I want to add on middle schoolers is that they're at the age where they realize adults are screwing up all the time and they don't really have the answers. They're realizing we're fallible and it messes with their own world view because it puts a little of the burden of figuring things out on them. Too many of my kids have parents with addictions and have been parentified to older siblings since early elementary, so they have little trust in adults at all.

You have to keep your promises, admit mistakes and try to make it right. They remember everything. I have them write things (you can lead the line tomorrow, I did say I would let you use the special gold paint, etc.) down on the board so we don't forget.

It's funny how caffeinated and sure of myself I was this morning verus how I put thoughts together at night. And who knows, maybe the kids will make me cry and sprout a few new greys tomorrow. They're coming in extraordinarily fast this year.

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