the space between seeing the thing and seeing the takes
For about a year, I did a digital journal entry on Notion each morning, and each morning I looked at art to find an image to be my "cover."
It did two things - it inspired me to look at more digitized museum collections (Cooper Union is a favorite) and it forced me to figure out what I like - what I like when I am all alone and there is no one to impress. No image to curate. Choosing a piece of art, one morning at a time, helped me re-develop my own taste.
My sense of what I even like was taken from two sources, as far as I can tell - a very-online culture of disposability and policing*, and the likes/upvotes/views problem.
I have had this art Instagram account for about ten years. I used to share personal snippets of my life as it pertained to art. I'm a leftist, so I shared some political information if it was timely, local, or action-oriented. I built up a following of mostly progressive fans of my art. In about 2021, I started to see fellow artists ripped to shreds for liking things that were "problematic," but this definition was getting looser and looser to the point that minor personal beef or rudeness was enough to cut contact with people. I started shrinking my voice, walking on eggshells, and being afraid to post things I liked or to have a political voice ("you shared this event but not this event, are you against reproductive rights???? :(" was a particularly off-base accusation).
It seems quaint, the things I was worried would be career ending (and in 2021, I made about half my income from IG-based art sales). I'll admit it here - when I had long covid, I watched a LOT of Law & Order. I know. I know. I hate our police state. I hate the walking over people's rights. But I needed comfort and it was a show I watched way too young and you know what? I am allowed to watch a fucked up show when I'm sick! A majority of fans of my work would be disgusted with me for having a Not Safe comfort show and sharing a quick "hey sorry I haven't made work in awhile, at least I'm on season 8 of this ridiculous copaganda show lol!"
It was really a small, very online, loud minority that was really into finding out who was Safe and Not Safe and not the progressive culture at large. I spent a lot of energy trying to prove I was a Safe person to the point that I just kind of created a very sanitized online persona. I stopped liking or following things because I couldn't keep up with everything they did and I was scared to be "caught" following someone who did something fucked up in their stories and I would have missed it and not known that they were Not Safe and then I would get a "friendly reminder" screenshot of me, unaware, still following them the next day.
I came to the conclusion I hold today - platforms just seem to kill all good faith interaction over time. What it also did, unfortunately, is kill my sense of taste. What do I even like? Even if it's Not Safe? Or even worse, not something my MFA friends from grad school would like?
The other taste-killer was numbers.
When you look at pictures on Instagram, you see a number of likes (usually) before you choose to "like" it or not. Views on Spotify and YouTube, upvotes/downvotes on Reddit. You are making the "do I like this? Do I want to share that I like this?" decision without independence of the numbers next to the button.
Last night we finished the third season of the White Lotus. I almost didn't start it because it's popular, and it's not very artist-like of me to be in the cultural zeitgeist as a consumer. If I shared that I watched it on my mostly-dormant Instagram account, I would probably get flack for it. But anyways! I watched it, I liked it, I have lots of thoughts. I liked it more than the second season. I had a few hours of processing it and talking about the finale with my spouse.
Then I went online and saw the Takes. They were not mine, which is great. But it made me realize that I was able to come to my own conclusion about the show because there wasn't a number and a button of who has liked it before, or comments down below whining about how the second season was better. I was able to form an independent opinion because of the format, for now unencumbered by other people's takes.
Something else I've noticed is with Spotify. I used to buy CDs and listen through and pick my favorite songs. I still try to do that, but I have noticed that on albums that have come out since I have Spotify, my favorites tend to be the songs on an album with the most plays. Huh. I always liked the dark horses. What is actually my taste and what is my own suggestibility?
We're not separate from the context in which we consume culture, obviously. It's not context collapse per se, but it's something and I don't like it.
*footnote - when I talk about a culture of disposability or Not Safe content, I'm not talking about things that are racist/transphobic/etc. I am talking about greyer, squishier areas in which leftists can and do disagree about things.